Hello.
My name is sean. This is my rant.
THINK THIS BLOG IS EVER GOING TO GET YOU ANSWERS?
GIVE IT UP.
nevertheless I keep it to chronicle my life. Without photos. I can only imagine how puzzled I will be when I re-read my blog.
Ear Candy
Green Day.
F.O.B.
The Script.
Coldplay.
All the above, selectively.
Good sounds with a mild relaxing effect.
How to screw up my day:
Irritating, attention-seeking behaviour
Being a general ass-hole
Upon a star with a gun, I wish:
For me to stop being addicted to
The computer
-Love
-Being happy
And for a less competitive world.
Would be nice, but
Bitch about this excuse of a blog
Mwah<3
Designer: Retrocarrots
BG Pattern: Henri
Base Code: Lisee
Hosted: Blogger
Cold hard logic. Nothing like it in the world to give you a whack of reality in the face.
Lost the position of flag bearer today. I feel happy for my friend, feel good that I just made someone happy. Yet I can't help but feel jealousy and sadness. Disappointment for giving up the role too easily. Far too easily.
A push-up competition. Flag bearers need to have good arm strength. I lost, fair and square. I can't help but want to save a little pride, to lie to others that I let him win. But no, logic ripped my pride to shreds. It taught me the truth. I could have denied him the position, but I did not. I didn't take what was mine, guard it as my own. I lost the opportunity. My dreams shattered. To make someone happy.
Then again, I didn't give the opportunity away. When I suggested that competition, it wasn't my opportunity to keep any more. It was free game. I lost the opportunity. The ice-cold, barbed reality of it hits me. Even as feelings try to take the pain of lost opportunity away, it can't compare to the razor-sharp logic. 28 to 35 in a minute.
I am doing homework right now. It is related to altruism and sacrifice (to the degree of life and death). I would like to think that what I did was altruistic, but it is not. I failed to safeguard my opportunity, even when given the chance to.
And somehow, even after the initial feelings of disappointment and okay.jpg (lol meme), I feel good. I feel great for letting my friend steal the limelight, to help him be happy. Just happy. I feel good for helping him, and that's what's keeping me from emoing all the way now. It may be one stage of grief, i.e. bargaining and anger, but to a smaller degree.
When feelings fail to guide, when feelings are crossed and take the sense out of your decisions, fall back on logic and bruising, rational reality.
(9:50:00 PM)
